It's amazing how we can change our lives if we just make a decision to do so. I say this, because 33 years ago this month I was sitting on a park bench wondering what I was going to do with my life.
I was homeless. I was addicted to heroin and alcohol. I was sleeping in a stolen car. I had no money, no insurance, and no plans about how I was going to live my life. I was totally demoralized and sick and tired of the way I was living. I had no family or friends who wanted to speak to me. They'd given up.
While sitting on that bench I realized that I had a few choices. I could keep doing what I was doing and end up back in prison, in a hospital, a mental institution, or I could go into a detoxification unit and get sober. After sitting there for some time I decided to try to change my life by getting sober. So I located a detoxification center on Bellevue St. in Mesa, Arizona. Even though I had no money or insurance, they accepted me. They kept me there for 11 days, until I no longer had a craving and I was no longer sick. Then they found a local halfway house a few blocks away that would accept me without funds. And that's how I began my journey into recovery.
When I went in that halfway house it was with the idea that I would stay about 30 days. Then I would leave, find an apartment, and begin living like other people. But after I was there 30 days I realized that wasn't nearly enough time for me to get my life together. I discussed the issue with my sponsor and he suggested I stay six months and get a really solid footing in recovery. So for a change, I listened to someone else's advice, someone who had more experience than I did with recovery, and made a commitment to stay six months.
But even at six months, I realized that I didn't have the solid footing that I felt I needed. So without even discussing it with my sponsor I made a decision on my own to stay in the program a full year before I went out of my own. During the last six months of that stay in the halfway house I went to work for them as a house manager. I enjoyed that kind of work and because I like to help people, I thought I might start a halfway house of my own after I had more experience.
I won't burden you with all the details and hassles I went through to secure my first three houses after I had a year sober. I will tell you that it was scary to take that first step and that the first year was really a bitch. But after the first year things started flowing a little more smoothly and when a few years passed I had a program with over 300 residents in it. In the 33 years since I got sober I've been blessed by being able to help many people do the same thing. And I've also had the sad experience of seeing many people leave our program before the miracle happened and end up overdosing or dying of alcoholism.
I share this with you to let you know that we have choices in our life. And if we take the time to think about what we want to do we might make the right choice.
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