Not Giving Up

I talked to a client today who’s been fired from several jobs at TLC. He’s been a manager, he’s worked security, he’s worked maintenance, and he’s been a driver. For some reason, even though he’s willing to work, he always ends up being replaced.

However, he does one thing perfectly: he stays clean and sober. He doesn’t let losing a job lead him back to alcohol or drugs.  He gets into acceptance about the changes in his life and continues to work his program.

While not everyone relapses when we replace them, it’s not unusual to see clients run away and get high over simply losing a job. 

 However,  this man’s level of acceptance when he’s facing adversity can be an example for all of us.

Number 602

A couple of days ago I realized I'd posted over 600 blogs in a row, one a day. When I noticed this I stopped and asked myself: what's the point?

I originally started writing this blog for a couple reasons. One was to force myself to write each day. The other, was so visitors to our website could get more insight about TLC. A few times I thought of stopping this daily routine, instead maybe posting a blog once or twice a week.

Once, when contemplating this, I received an e-mail from a parent who said reading the blog each day helped her feel connected to her son who was at that time in our program. That simple message was enough to keep me writing.

A more difficult aspect of writing this blog is preserving anonymity. Often I see a good lesson for those of us in recovery but I have to be careful about how I describe it. I try to frame the situation so that I talk about principles rather than personalities. Also, I never mention the 12 step programs by name, although at times I refer to them. I do this out of respect for their traditions.

Someone told me a few months ago that a former client said he relapsed because I talked about him in this blog. I'm not sure which blog he was talking about – but if I read through them I can often find my own story.  I've never relapsed over anything I read, but I did get drunk one time because it was raining.

After all, even though we might think we're unique, we addicts and alcoholics are all pretty much alike.

Our Condolences

That TLC family extends condolences to a longtime friend, client and employee who this week lost a family member. Our best wishes go out to him and his family during this time of loss and pain.

This man's recovery story is a miracle in itself. Several years ago he had little or no communication with his family. His drug use had taken him to prison and away from those he loved.

It's  been a long process for him to rebuild his life. But today he has a relationship with his son, a new grandson, and a wide circle of friends and associates. 

His story provides encouragement to those new in recovery. Probably 90% of our clients arrived with similar circumstances as did this man. They've lost their freedom, their families, and have no friends or resources. Most of them, when faced with this type of situation, have a negative attitude. They somehow don't have the ability to see beyond their present circumstances into a future that is positive.

But if they take a moment to look around them they can find examples like this client. He's a role model who shows us what we can do with our life. If we get up each morning, and do what is in front of us, we have a chance of success.

In the TLC community that means being responsible, going to meetings, finding employment, taking care of our legal and medical issues. But many of our clients – when faced with such a daunting task – go on another drug or alcohol binge. It says in the literature that this is a sometimes necessary part of the process. While at times it is painful to watch, it is often part of the evolutionary process that takes us into sobriety.

We wish our friend and his family well.

Happy Birthday!

My best friend celebrates 20 years the middle of this month. His sobriety anniversary falls on the day we celebrate TLC's 20th anniversary – a fitting coincidence.

This man's sobriety path illustrates the power of the 12 step programs. When he first came to a detox center he believed he was near death. He had a 27 year history of methamphetamine use, and even more years of drinking alcohol. His disease took him from the streets of North Phoenix to Texas prison farms to the Arizona prison system. 

Yet he survived and found himself in a detoxification unit in Phoenix. it took him more than two weeks to recover enough to move to a halfway house.

From the day he entered TLC's first halfway house he's been an integral part of the program. He's worked every day since his arrival to build it into what it is today. He's helped thousands of addicts and alcoholics find their way to sobriety. He's been instrumental in helping add different programs to TLC, the most prominent being the Hard Six program. 

Happy Birthday my friend. We're all grateful for everything you...

Hostage to the Past

A close friend is depressed about a childhood friend, now in his 50s, who’s never been able to get sober.

He's been to jail many times for drug-related offenses. He's lost jobs. He's been divorced twice. Each time he gets into a good situation he ends up smoking crack or getting drunk. Then one more time he loses everything.

My friend blames his continual issues with drugs and alcohol on childhood abuse he suffered at the hands of a close relative. Apparently he's never dealt with the emotional issues associated with the abuse. When they become too overwhelming he escapes into the bottle or picks up a crack pipe.

Over my past 20 years as a counselor I've heard this story many times. And my advice is always the same: get help to deal with your emotional issues. I'm not unsympathetic to people who’ve suffered abuse. However, there comes a point in our lives when we have to deal with issues or else we are going to waste our lives in a haze of alcohol, drugs, or some other type of escape. 

There's no question that abuse is an unspeakable crime. And childhood abuse is prevalent among addicts and alcoholics. But something even more terrible is when a life is wasted because an addict or alcoholic is stuck on what happened years before. 

I usually counsel those with these kinds of issues to overcome their fear and face the pain. Because, in my mind, it's even more painful to contemplate a life that is wasted over trauma suffered in the distant past.

Brotherly Love

The fifth of this month my only brother would have celebrated his 71^st birthday. Instead he succumbed to alcoholism 11 years ago. I only wish he’d of been able to grasp the concepts of the 12 step programs, as it might have saved his life.

Toward the end, when was living in his pickup truck, he attempted to get sober at TLC. He spent around six months at our Las Vegas facility. While there he made a half hearted attempt to change.

However, when he’d go to the required 12-step meetings he was unable to relate. He’d say he wasn’t like the others at the meeting because he hadn’t been in jail. And he hadn’t lived for years on the streets.

But I knew better because I used to drink with him periodically over the years. It was rare when he didn’t have alcohol in his body. He'd usually wake up at night and drink to pass out again. And for many years he drank a case of beer a day. He also mixed in pot and a little speed. He was one of us in every sense of the word. He just wouldn’t admit he was powerless.

Finally he left TLC in anger, telling the manager “f….. you and f…. TLC.” That indirect communication was the last I heard from him.

Six months later his ex-wife let me know he was in the hospital in Las Vegas. By the time I got there he was in a coma. He died May 20, 2001.

I’ve always regretted that he couldn’t have gotten the same message I heard so many years ago.

TLC Outpatient Clinic Opens

In conjunction with its 20th year anniversary this month TLC will receive a state license to provide outpatient treatment. The name is "TLC Outpatient Clinic."

DUI education classes, drug education and one-on-one counseling are a few of the offerings . Services are competitively priced and insurance is accepted. The clinic's address is 32 S. Macdonald Street, Mesa.

The opening of the clinic won’t affect peer counseling services offered to the broader TLC program. That program has successfully functioned as it is for more than 20 years.

The new outpatient clinic offers treatment services to those who can't afford expensive inpatient treatment. Although rates haven't been determined, the plan is to offer outpatient treatment to clients who live at TLC. These clients would have the benefit of receiving treatment services, but at a lower price than from an inpatient treatment program.

More details will be released prior to its official opening.