A close friend is depressed about a childhood friend, now in his 50s, who’s never been able to get sober.
He's been to jail many times for drug-related offenses. He's lost jobs. He's been divorced twice. Each time he gets into a good situation he ends up smoking crack or getting drunk. Then one more time he loses everything.
My friend blames his continual issues with drugs and alcohol on childhood abuse he suffered at the hands of a close relative. Apparently he's never dealt with the emotional issues associated with the abuse. When they become too overwhelming he escapes into the bottle or picks up a crack pipe.
Over my past 20 years as a counselor I've heard this story many times. And my advice is always the same: get help to deal with your emotional issues. I'm not unsympathetic to people who’ve suffered abuse. However, there comes a point in our lives when we have to deal with issues or else we are going to waste our lives in a haze of alcohol, drugs, or some other type of escape.
There's no question that abuse is an unspeakable crime. And childhood abuse is prevalent among addicts and alcoholics. But something even more terrible is when a life is wasted because an addict or alcoholic is stuck on what happened years before.
I usually counsel those with these kinds of issues to overcome their fear and face the pain. Because, in my mind, it's even more painful to contemplate a life that is wasted over trauma suffered in the distant past.
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