Whiz Kids

Every so often TLC is fortunate enough take in a client – a whiz kid really - with a lot of financial expertise.

And another one showed up the other day. After a week or so on the property he did the math and figured out that TLC was “getting rich.”

What he did was take the calculator on his cell phone and multiply the $110 a week that clients are supposed to pay times the 80 residents at the Macdonald House.  And bingo, he came up with a figure of $8,800 a week! Or nearly $40,000 a month!  

Then, of course, he then extended the numbers out to include the entire program and got really excited. 110 times 600 clients is a nice number all right. Impressive figures. But they’re not real.

First of all, TLC never collects 100% of the service fees charged. The real number is more like 62%.  And this number wouldn’t be bad either.  But that’s not net – that’s gross income.  (For the challenged gross means the total amount coming in.)

One thing our whiz kid didn’t consider is expenses. For example, June through October electric bills run at $55,000 to $65,000 a month.  This month’s electric bill for the City of Mesa alone: around $20,000.  TLC utilities run nearly $700,000 a year.  Mortgages and leases run about $900,000 a year.

Other things to consider: vehicle insurance at $4,000 a month. Gasoline: around $12,000 a month. Liability insurance $7,000 a month.  Food: $13,000 a month.  The list goes on and on.

My feedback -  when I hear about clients with this kind of financial expertise - is to invite them to our accounting office. We need all the help we can get.

Using the Tools

A client came to my office today to express his gratitude.

He said he'd lost a close relative last week, one who encouraged him to get sober for a long time. Before he came to TLC two years ago his reaction to her death would have been to relapse. An excuse to get high, to trash his life once more. But with the tools he's learned at TLC he's been able to remain clean and sober.

His testimonial started my day off on a great note. When clients speak of improvements in their lives it makes what we do worthwhile. Though I know we help a lot of people change, sometimes it gets lost in the daily bustle of trying to keep everything functioning smoothly.

He went on to explain that his ability to stay sober after her death was noticed by other clients. He said more than one approached him, saying he was a good example..

Even though many people in recovery don't succeed in staying sober the ones who do make a difference.

RIP Richard

“I’m going to drink like a gentlemen,” Richard told us as he left TLC about ten years ago.

When he qualified for a monthly Social Security check he decided to spend his later years doing exactly what he wanted – drinking.

Because he lived in an apartment near our corporate offices we saw him most every day.  In the mornings he’d spend an hour or so sitting on a bench in front of the Inconvenience Store. He’d smoke cigarettes and visit with friends from TLC.  Propped nearby would be his bicycle.

For a few years after leaving, he peddled cheap watches to our clients to supplement his income. But eventually he gave that up.

I spoke to him often in passing. And once in a while he brought up his drinking. I think he thought I didn’t approve and he wanted to let me know it was working.  But it was none of my business.  If he’d wanted to stop, then it would have been my business.

The last time he brought it up he said his routine was to start on a half pint around one o’clock. He’d finish it about five, eat something, and then sleep for the night.

Once in a while - when he talked a lot about drinking - I’d think maybe he was asking for help.  Then I’d let him know our door was open if he wanted to take another run at living sober. But he wasn’t interested.  And I don’t try to convince anyone to get sober. I think life lets us know when something’s not working.

And in his case it seemed to somehow work until the end. Rest in peace, Richard.

Reflection

“We don't see the world as it is. We see it as we are.”  Anais Nin

We overlay the external world with who we are inside. If we live in fear, then the world is a scary place. Everything and everyone looks dangerous to us.

If we're kind and loving, we surround ourselves with those who reflect our values.

If we’re generous, we find bounty and prosperity. Because we’re generous, we do generous things. And the world gives back to us – usually more than we give out.

If we are friendly the world is full of friendly people.

If life is painful, somewhere and somehow we’ll find drugs and alcohol to help relieve the pain.

If we think recovery difficult we’ll find that our associates think the same. They may even help us relapse.

The outside world is a  mirror that reflects our internal values.

Not-so-Boring

The speaker at this morning’s meeting said “I know I’ll never be a circuit speaker because my story is really boring.”

Then he told a tale that was pretty simple about how he started drinking, what happened when he drank, and how things got bad enough that he decided to seek help.

Unlike many in 12-step progams he was never arrested for driving drunk. He didn’t lose jobs. He didn't fight. He simply drank at home and knocked over a few houseplants.

Even though his story wasn’t made for TV, the plot is similar to everyone else's in 12-step meetings: what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like today. While details differ, the idea is that drinking was out of control and never got better.

The interesting thing in this speaker’s story is the quality of his life today. 

He’s says he’s happier, less selfish, and more patient.  He volunteers in the community. He doesn’t flip people off in traffic. He’s developed new friendships based on recovery values. Old friends from his drinking days have faded away.

He’s mostly happy with his new life.  And that's what recovery's about.

Struggling

Dealing with clients each day is a reminder of the struggles they face –and the rewards when they succeed.

At first they’re all over the place with rationalizing, fear, hope, and depression – the gamut.

Many weaken and succumb to the false promise of another line.  Another foray into the spoon. Another sad dance with the bottle. Trying to escape the pain.

But some do the tough thing. They sit up front at the meetings.  They’re awake at 3:30 am heading for day labor.  They trudge on blistering Arizona sidewalks to fill out endless fast food applications. They call their sponsor to get a little love – but get their ass beat.  Yet they hang.

And those who keep doing the hard thing look in the mirror one day and maybe find someone new.  He likes what he sees in the eyes looking back at him.  A man who’s reuniting with his family. A man who’s sleeping well because for the first time in a long time he’s not in fear because he’s honoring the life God gave him.

He’s been struggling but now he’s seeing the rewards.

Job Security

At times our managers forget where they came from. And I'm not talking about them being ungrateful.

I say this because sometimes they express dismay at the behavior of clients - especially the new ones. They get frustrated when clients lie.  When they don't want to go to work.   When they steal.  Or when they’re ungrateful.

But after 20 years in this field clients rarely surprise me. Most haven’t worked in a while. They don’t have insurance. They might be on parole or probation. Some owe money to the dope man.  Others have been run off by their families. Many have health issues. Nearly all are with us because they have nowhere else to go - something that sometimes angers them.

But if they're functional when they show up, they wouldn’t need us.

So I pass on to the staff that when dealing with problematic clients let's be thankful for job security.