Three Years Clean!

God has a way of keeping balance in our lives.

Since the weekend I've been reflecting on the untimely loss of one of our long-time clients.

Then this morning I receive an email from a Hard Six graduate who tells me he has three years clean.

And success stories like his are rewarding for those of us who manage TLC

This man's success proves that anyone with motivation can change.

He spent many years on prison yards for crimes related to his addiction. The addiction that held him back most of his life.

But when he came to TLC he was hungry to change. He went to college.  He volunteered as a manager. He worked hard. He did everything required of Hard Sixes. 

Sure, he received consequences because he screwed up sometimes. However,the important thing he did was stick around. He never ran off when things got tough.

We congratulate him on three years. We wish his success for all our clients.

And enough have made it over the last 22 years to make this project worthwhile.  Even though we sometimes experience tragedy.

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R.I.P.

I hate calls like the one that came Saturday afternoon.

They usually start with “Do you remember so-and-so?”

And my apprehension rises because maybe the next words will be that a former resident has died.

That's the way it was Saturday when the caller told me David T. had passed at a Phoenix hospital early that morning.

He was a Hard Six who left TLC a few months ago.

David worked for a long time at TLC's corporate office, securing contracts for our labor company.

He also was in our aftercare group, and sat across from me through many sessions.

Those of us who knew David will miss him. It's always difficult when a man in his middle years leaves us much too early.

Rest in Peace, David...

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Dream Big

Big dreams take no more effort than little dreams.

Don’t limit yourself with fear or self-doubt. Your imagination is a cosmic playground of possibilities.

Now that you are no longer shackled by drugs or alcohol manifest your dreams.

I share this with you because my dreams began coming true after I entered recovery in 1991. At first I was simply happy to be alive. The misery and suffering was behind me.

But while I was happy, I also knew I could do more. I needed a mission.

And I found it in helping others in recovery.

The first vision I put out to the universe was to someday operate a 50 bed halfway house. My plan was to work a job and operate the halfway house as an avocation.

But God had other plans. Because within 15 months we had over 100 residents and more on the way. The program kept growing from there. Until today we have 700 beds, several small businesses, plus a licensed treatment program.

But how did this happen? When I came to recovery I was broke. No credit. No financial angels. In fact very few people wanted to hear from me.

It happened because I had a clear picture of what I wanted. And somehow, in spite of being broke and unworthy of credit, people started selling me property.

Opportunities came from every direction. The right people showed up, addicts who wanted to be part of something. Addicts who wanted to help others.

We started with a beat-up property, three old houses.  But we were grateful to have it. It served the purpose of sheltering those who needed help.

Looking forward, we never knew where we going to get money or help. Yet it showed up, sometimes in mysterious ways.

The point of this blog is that if you have a dream have the faith to go for it.

If it's a good enough dream the Universe will provide the means. You only need a vision of what you want.

Then start doing the footwork; the rest will show up.

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More Gratitude...

Gratitude is my theme - in my life and in this blog.

And Thursday, while driving home from Banner Thunderbird hospital, I was full of gratitude.

I'd gone to see my pregnant daughter - who's about 25 weeks along.

Her doctor had her flown from Prescott last week to prevent a premature birth.

And she may stay in the hospital for two months - or until the baby is better developed.

But I'm grateful that - even though she's had complications - she's receiving excellent care.

For a time I worried because she's a disabled veteran who received care at the Phoenix VA hospital, a place that's received negative publicity lately.

So gratitude comes from knowing she and the baby are healthy.

It also comes from the fact that this addict has been on the planet long enough see his youngest daughter give birth.

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New Horizons

We begin to walk a new path when we enter the 12 step programs - the path of recovery.

We no longer drink to build confidence. We no longer need marijuana to keep calm. We navigate life without benzos. We learn that we weren't born with a heroin deficiency.

We've been substance free for some time. But where do we go from here? Are there new horizons for living better?

There are.

We can start paying attention to our health, to our bodies. By improving our health we can enjoy our recovery even more.

And we do this in many ways.

We start by getting into exercise. Eating better. Reducing stress through meditation.  Putting down tobacco in all forms.

These may seem to be daunting challenges. But don't make a big deal of it.

Explore. Take baby steps. Stumble a bit. Don't try to be perfect. Don't be hard on yourself. Make these new ventures and explorations fun. Laugh at yourself when you don't do as well as you expect.

We addicts try to be perfect, don't we? After all, when we were using more was always better. Right?

For exercise, maybe start a simple program of walking. Or calisthenics. Or yoga. Riding a bicycle. Something simple. Something you like. Eventually you'll find your groove.

Same thing with what we eat. Start ruling out classes of food. Maybe quit drinking soda. Give up dessert. No more eating food handed out of drive-through windows. Maybe we start thinking about eating food the way God prepared it - natural and wholesome.

Make slow, small changes. So small you might not notice them until later.  Small Increments. And before you know it you will have changed - almost without realizing it.

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Working the Program

Every so often an addict will say they're "working their own program."

Now I'm not exactly sure what this means. But, based on the addict's behavior, I suspect it means he's doing things his way. Perhaps still running on self-will.

The wonderful thing about the 12-step programs is that they're a tried and true way for us to change. To learn to live with this deadly disease that's taken so many of our friends and loved ones.

When I was out there "working my own program" things never went well.  Prisons. Divorces. Bankruptcy. Homelessness. Health issues. The list is longer, but you get the picture.

When I was finally cornered like a rat with no where to go, I surrendered. I followed the 12-step program the way the Founders laid it out.

Did I like it? Of course not. I never liked anyone else's plan. But I saw the successes in the rooms. What they said made sense. I shoplifted their ideas and used them in my life.

And, you know, the Promises started coming true before I even knew what they were.

After six months I realized that for the first time I was enjoying freedom and happiness. I no longer was looking over my shoulder. The cloud of demoralization had left me. Even though I had nothing material, I had a rich sense of joy at being alive.

The best decision I ever made was to start working the program. Because mine never worked.

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Life's Unfair

When we discipline clients they often whine about us being "unfair."

They use other clients who committed the same offense as examples.

"She didn't get the same consequences as me!"

"He did the same thing I did, but nothing happened."

"The manager's picking on me!"

They sound like a bunch of uptight high-priced lawyers appealing a case.

The thing about us being unfair is likely true. Because that's the way life is.

When dealing with 650 clients in many locations it's difficult to be "fair" in every situation.

But isn't that the nature of life? Not just at TLC. Also in the larger world.

We can look around and find unfairness everywhere. Visit the children's hospital in Phoenix. What's fair about a child with cancer?

Follow the news. What's fair about children dying in war zones? Or serving as human shields? Civilians in Africa contracting Ebola because they were born in the wrong place?  Being beheaded for not believing in someone's version of god?

Unfairness is rampant.

Yes, we addicts know how to feel better about unfairness. Snort a line. Light a pipe. Open a fifth. Nod out for a while. That unfairness will melt right away.

Or we can look in the mirror and tell ourselves that life is perfect just as God made it. And fair or not – we simply accept it and move on.

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