The man who came to my office today looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him at first.
And that was because he was wearing a suit and tie, looking every bit like a banker or lawyer.
Turns out that he's a TLC graduate from a few years ago.
He now has his own limousine service and stopped to say hello and tell of his success.
He recently bought a new Escalade, which he parked in front of our office. He also recently moved into a new condo in a gated community in East Mesa.
It was nice to see his success, because when this man came to TLC he had nothing. He was like the majority of those who come to us. But he worked hard, went to meetings, and eventually got into management.
These are the visits we like. When we see former clients use the tools they picked up while in our program it validates what we do.
Click here to email John
Friday, November 14, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
A Reminder
Yesterday a manager came to my office carrying a small black box under his arm. It contains the ashes of a former employee who died a month ago of a drug overdose.
As he places it on the corner of my desk I'm again reminded of our deadly disease.
Often in TLC groups I'll point our that we're in a life and death battle with our addictions. Each of us.
As he places it on the corner of my desk I'm again reminded of our deadly disease.
Often in TLC groups I'll point our that we're in a life and death battle with our addictions. Each of us.
Yet sometimes I'll sense that the words fall on deaf ears. That maybe clients think I'm being overly dramatic to make a point.
Though our business might look like any other to passersby, inside our walls we work to save lives.
We provide a stream of information, education, meetings, and groups. But sometimes the clients aren't ready. Or else don't quite get it.
Though our business might look like any other to passersby, inside our walls we work to save lives.
We provide a stream of information, education, meetings, and groups. But sometimes the clients aren't ready. Or else don't quite get it.
And when that happens we might get notice of another addict who didn't make it.
Or maybe someone delivers their ashes.
Click here to email John
Or maybe someone delivers their ashes.
Click here to email John
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Living with Peace
"Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace." Joan Borysenko
If paperwork is interrupted by a client or staff member, I re-focus my attention because people are more important than paperwork. I usually must take a few deep breaths to help me switch modes and change my thinking.
Sometimes my mind wanders back to the paperwork. But I tell myself it'll wait and then focus on the person in front of me.
Doing one thing at a time keeps me in peace.
I never argue with anyone about anything because I don't like the stress. Instead of arguing, I ask for clarification. Most differences get resolved that way. And I stay in peace.
There are other things I do to be peaceful.
My suggestion - if you're interested in having peace - is to structure your own daily routine to minimize your stress.
Experiment until you get it right. Then don't let the expectations of others change it.
It's a practice that'll bring you many benefits.
Click here to email John
It's important for us to choose whether we'll have stress - or peace - each day.
In my case, I choose peace. And here's how I get there.
I don't use an alarm clock to awaken. Usually around 4:00 am I'm pretty much rested so I awake. If I'm not ready to get up I may drift off for another half hour or so. But usually at 4:00 I'm awake.
Next is 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation. After that I'm in my home gym for an hour. The routine always includes a half hour to an hour of yoga. Four days a week I mix in a half hour of weights or elliptical or swimming.
Then it's a mostly raw vegan breakfast.
This morning routine gets my day started in a low stress mode.
At my office I do one thing at a time. I don't believe in multi-tasking. We can only focus on one thing at time; it's either this or it's that. I don't hurry.
In my case, I choose peace. And here's how I get there.
I don't use an alarm clock to awaken. Usually around 4:00 am I'm pretty much rested so I awake. If I'm not ready to get up I may drift off for another half hour or so. But usually at 4:00 I'm awake.
Next is 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation. After that I'm in my home gym for an hour. The routine always includes a half hour to an hour of yoga. Four days a week I mix in a half hour of weights or elliptical or swimming.
Then it's a mostly raw vegan breakfast.
This morning routine gets my day started in a low stress mode.
At my office I do one thing at a time. I don't believe in multi-tasking. We can only focus on one thing at time; it's either this or it's that. I don't hurry.
If paperwork is interrupted by a client or staff member, I re-focus my attention because people are more important than paperwork. I usually must take a few deep breaths to help me switch modes and change my thinking.
Sometimes my mind wanders back to the paperwork. But I tell myself it'll wait and then focus on the person in front of me.
Doing one thing at a time keeps me in peace.
I never argue with anyone about anything because I don't like the stress. Instead of arguing, I ask for clarification. Most differences get resolved that way. And I stay in peace.
There are other things I do to be peaceful.
But they all involve taking care of myself. Part of that is to not hurry. To stay in the moment. Not eating junk. Not drinking sodas or caffeine.
My suggestion - if you're interested in having peace - is to structure your own daily routine to minimize your stress.
Experiment until you get it right. Then don't let the expectations of others change it.
It's a practice that'll bring you many benefits.
Click here to email John
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Honoring our Veterans
Today we honor those who served in our military.
This means a lot to my wife and me because many family members are veterans.
My wife's family has 13 veterans. The oldest is her 94 year old grandfather.
My family includes an uncle who was in the major naval battles of the South Pacific. One of those was Guadalcanal.
Then there's my 29 year old daughter, who receives 100% disability after her service in Afghanistan.
At TLC we have many veterans, both men and women. Some work for us as managers.
Today we’re grateful for all those who put their lives and health at risk in the service of our country.
Regardless of our political beliefs or feelings about war nothing diminishes the sacrifice of our heroes.
We thank them today.
Click here to email John
This means a lot to my wife and me because many family members are veterans.
My wife's family has 13 veterans. The oldest is her 94 year old grandfather.
My family includes an uncle who was in the major naval battles of the South Pacific. One of those was Guadalcanal.
Then there's my 29 year old daughter, who receives 100% disability after her service in Afghanistan.
At TLC we have many veterans, both men and women. Some work for us as managers.
Today we’re grateful for all those who put their lives and health at risk in the service of our country.
Regardless of our political beliefs or feelings about war nothing diminishes the sacrifice of our heroes.
We thank them today.
Click here to email John
Monday, November 10, 2014
The Same Boat
"We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now." Martin Luther King Jr.
The saying above, of course, is from the civil rights era. But it easily applies to those of us in recovery.
In the 12-step programs we meet people from all walks of life.
I've met ex-convicts. Doctors. Homeless people. City councilmen. Real estate executives. Panhandlers. Rocket scientists. The rich. The poor. The educated. And the mentally challenged. Together in one room.
And the great leveler for the diverse people among us is that we're powerless. We're in the rooms together because we share the common challenge of trying to stay clean and sober.
And the brilliance of the Founders is evident in how we are able to assist one another to move from desperation to the safe haven of recovery.
We recognize that we're all in the same boat - and on the same journey.
Click here to email John
The saying above, of course, is from the civil rights era. But it easily applies to those of us in recovery.
In the 12-step programs we meet people from all walks of life.
I've met ex-convicts. Doctors. Homeless people. City councilmen. Real estate executives. Panhandlers. Rocket scientists. The rich. The poor. The educated. And the mentally challenged. Together in one room.
And the great leveler for the diverse people among us is that we're powerless. We're in the rooms together because we share the common challenge of trying to stay clean and sober.
And the brilliance of the Founders is evident in how we are able to assist one another to move from desperation to the safe haven of recovery.
We recognize that we're all in the same boat - and on the same journey.
Click here to email John
Sunday, November 9, 2014
A New Story
"At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end." Christine Mason Miller.
A client who failed a drug test at work is quite anxious while at my office for an evaluation.
Among his concerns is that he won't be able to continue his career. He doesn't believe he'll be able to afford the time he’ll be off the job before he's cleared to return.
"I might as well forget my career," he laments. "I'll just have to start over doing something else."
I suggest that he shouldn't project into the future. After all, he hasn't even started the process and he's already seeing his life in ruins.
As the saying above points out we have the power to decide how our story will end.
We can write out a sad tale of failure, visualizing ourselves on the scrap pile of life. Or we can be the hero of a success story where we get everything we need - and more.
If we've written a narrative in our heads that says we can't stay sober, we can change it. We can write a new tale that that features us in long term recovery. And enjoying the benefits and freedom of a sober existence.
If your life's not going well, create a new story. And let it have a happy ending.
After all, aren't you the author of your life?
Click here to email John
A client who failed a drug test at work is quite anxious while at my office for an evaluation.
Among his concerns is that he won't be able to continue his career. He doesn't believe he'll be able to afford the time he’ll be off the job before he's cleared to return.
"I might as well forget my career," he laments. "I'll just have to start over doing something else."
I suggest that he shouldn't project into the future. After all, he hasn't even started the process and he's already seeing his life in ruins.
As the saying above points out we have the power to decide how our story will end.
We can write out a sad tale of failure, visualizing ourselves on the scrap pile of life. Or we can be the hero of a success story where we get everything we need - and more.
If we've written a narrative in our heads that says we can't stay sober, we can change it. We can write a new tale that that features us in long term recovery. And enjoying the benefits and freedom of a sober existence.
If your life's not going well, create a new story. And let it have a happy ending.
After all, aren't you the author of your life?
Click here to email John
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Perspective
"Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses." Proverb
Life is a matter of perspective. We can look at our challenges. Or, we can pay attention to our blessings.
If we're having a bad day we can turn it into a good day using simple techniques.
Stop comparing ourselves to others. This is a futile practice because someone always has more - or less - than we do. They're either richer or poorer, smarter or dumber, stronger or weaker. We're rarely exactly on par with anyone.
Develop a sense of gratitude. There's a multitude of reasons for gratitude. I have my marriage. My health. My job. Friends. My children. A home. Loving family members who care about me. Look around your life and make your own list. You might surprise yourself at how long it is.
Do something for someone else. Mail a check to a charity. Hand money to a homeless person and don't worry if he'll spend it on alcohol or drugs. Volunteer at a hospice or soup kitchen. Give someone a ride. The simple act of giving makes us feel better.
Life is a matter of perspective. We can look at our challenges. Or, we can pay attention to our blessings.
If we're having a bad day we can turn it into a good day using simple techniques.
Stop comparing ourselves to others. This is a futile practice because someone always has more - or less - than we do. They're either richer or poorer, smarter or dumber, stronger or weaker. We're rarely exactly on par with anyone.
Develop a sense of gratitude. There's a multitude of reasons for gratitude. I have my marriage. My health. My job. Friends. My children. A home. Loving family members who care about me. Look around your life and make your own list. You might surprise yourself at how long it is.
Do something for someone else. Mail a check to a charity. Hand money to a homeless person and don't worry if he'll spend it on alcohol or drugs. Volunteer at a hospice or soup kitchen. Give someone a ride. The simple act of giving makes us feel better.
These are techniques that have worked for me over the years. Be creative and figure out your own ways to change your perspective.
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