My Attitude

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."  - Khalil Gibran - 1883-1931, Artist, Poet, and Writer

Applying this saying to our lives will change our viewpoint.

Many of us addicts think we must always feel good. No pain. No discomfort. No displeasure. No opposition.

Before my addiction brought me crashing down I knew how to feel wonderful. Another bottle. Another shot of heroin. Another line. Instant feel good.

But then life presented me with reality in the form of jail, hospital, divorce and other unhappiness.

And now that I've reached this point I must accept that I'm not always going to have it my way. Challenges show up.

Maybe they're financial. Maybe health issues. No matter what, my attitude determines the outcome.

If I look at what goes on in my life as part of the normal cycle of living then I do well. But if I go into baby mode and start whining who knows what I'll do to feel good?

It's all about my attitude.

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Acceptance

A woman wonders what to do about a relative who's never on time.

And I shared something simple that works for me. Get into acceptance.

In other words, if you know this person is always late accept it. Or else stop doing things with her.

My wisdom comes from 12 step literature - and acceptance is one of the most useful messages to embrace.

For once I accept whatever it is, then I can do something about it. That is, if something needs doing.

For years I found myself disappointed about what others did or didn't do. Once I got into the program I discovered the power of acceptance. And when I use it I immediately find peace.

I can move forward with my day without wrestling in my head about people not living up to my expectations.

Try it the next time you're frustrated about anything.

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Small Steps

Much of my job as a counselor is to help people see the good in themselves.

Clients come into our program physically or emotionally beat up. Dissipation and self-indulgence have cost them everything. 95% are homeless.

They haven't succeeded at much. They've spent time on prison yards. Maybe in tent city. Perhaps homeless. Or else their spouse left them. They might suffer from health conditions. Maybe hepatitis C.

They might be in bad health. Or they can't hold a job.

In other words, there's little to feel good about. They have limited self-discipline or impulse control.

Yet, if they want a chance a recovery, they need to improve self-worth.

And that can start by looking at the progress they're making in their recovery. At the baby steps they're taking.

Maybe they're going to meetings. Perhaps they found a sponsor. They're performing their responsibilities around TLC. They've found work and are paying service fees. Maybe the family's taking their calls.

These aren't big deals for a non-addict. But for those of us in recovery it's the beginning of changing our lives. It's something to feel good about.

These simple things can be the start of a lifetime of recovery.

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Up in Smoke

Just when I think I’ve heard it all a woman calls with a request I hadn’t heard before.

She told me she'd been looking all over the country for a halfway house. She said that none would take her because of her prescription medications.

I told her that we'd take her - as long as the prescriptions weren't for opiates or benzos. But I spoke too soon.

Because the next thing she said was that she wasn't taking any of those. The prescription she was having a problem with was for medical marijuana.

That was a new one for me. So I patiently explained that because people are with us to get sober, pot smoking is unacceptable.

She said it helped with her various ailments. And I told her that I was sure it worked. But that our other clients might want to smoke along with her.

She finally asked for referrals to a halfway house that might help. I couldn't think of any.

I did suggest she look in Colorado or Washington, where attitudes toward marijuana might be different.

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Living Healthy

Many in recovery substitute food for drugs or alcohol.

We often see our halfway house clients gain 50 or 60 pounds within a year of their arrival. Now they have something new to stress about.

And it also happens with some who quit smoking.

Because I've been vegan for 20 years I often get questions about weight loss and nutrition.

Some ask what I do for protein, for example. And the answer is: nothing. There's nothing to do. If one eats across the food spectrum plants combine to provide more protein than a vegan requires.

But what do you eat? This is a frequent question.

The answer? I eat everything but animal products. That means I have a choice of about 185 kinds of plants.

There are myriad fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, nuts, almond milk, and so on. Many delicious choices.

I know what they eat. Beef, pork, chicken, or fish. That's about it. Unless they throw in a lettuce salad and french fries. Or some milk and sugary flakes for breakfast.

Now I'm not a crusader. I actually have little interest in what others eat. That's their business. And it's their life to live as they choose.

But if they ask me, I point out that they become what they eat. Within minutes, what they put in their mouth becomes - on a microscopic level - who they are.

If one lives on cheeseburgers and fries and sweets, then they start to resemble those things.

To build the best health we must consume food that's healthy. Greasy, fried, fattening, sweet and processed stuff may taste wonderful. But there's a price attached.

And that price is that we undermine the basis of our life: the healthy body that God gave us when we were born.

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Finding Gratitude

Did I awaken this morning with a spirit of gratitude?

Or did I wonder what I have to be grateful for?

If it's the latter, let me help you out.

If we have trouble finding reasons for gratitude we can simply look around our world.

When I do that I can find hundreds of examples of why I should be grateful.

If I''m healthy – or reasonably so - then that's something to be grateful for. For there are many who are suffering from physical or mental challenges.

Do I have a job? Because there are many who are not blessed with employment and don't have an adequate income.

You see where this is going. We can look around the rest of the world and realize that our circumstances are pretty good. That's gratitude.

If we have difficulty finding something to be grateful for I believe we're comparing ourselves to those who have much more.

But we can find gratitude even in that. We can look at those who have more and see that we live in a land of opportunity. We can have the same success if we use our creativity and work hard.

It's a matter of perspective. And we stay in gratitude.

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Slow Change

Looked at the calendar this morning. It's February. Really? Already? But Christmas was last week. Or so it seems.

One twelfth of the year gone already. 31 days. Quick.

For those who made resolutions where are you at with them? Still hitting the gym? Eating right? Lost weight? Give up smoking? Hmmm...

Or have you started to say "manana." I'll do it tomorrow. Maybe thinking you took on too much.

I understand. Abrupt change is difficult. I've been there. It's easier to stay with a known misery than take a chance on an unknown joy.

If you want effective change, start slow. Do it in increments. Tiny steps. Gradual changes work.

Because it's not painful.

It's not a big deal to smoke one less cigarette a day. Quit one bad food at a time. Maybe start with no added sugar. Or else no fast food. Nothing out of a package. Or maybe don't eat food with your fingers; use a fork. Don't eat while watching TV.

Changing slowly is not a shock to our psyche, to our bodies. As we flow along with slow change one day we realize we're at our goal. We like the way we look and feel.

A final aspect of this is to not beat ourselves down if we backslide and eat some crappy food. Or smoke an extra frajo. Instead, we keep our eye on the goal and keep our incremental change going.

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