Disengaging from Insanity

While at a social event last night I inadvertently encountered one of the two people on the planet I’m unable to communicate with.  It's really kind of sad.   Because I've known this person for over thirty-years.  And at one time we were great friends.

One reason I feel bad about it might have to do with my ego.  I’m in recovery.  I don’t remain angry at anyone for more than a moment. I pride myself on getting along.  I care about others.  I think one of our greatest responsibilities is to communicate effectively.

But for some reason, this person with whom I was once great friends has over the years developed a personality disorder that doesn't allow getting along with anyone. Family, friends, business associates, all eventually are victims of unexplained, gratuitous, abuse.

And no matter how many times I've tried to maintain this communication, eventually there’s an eruption over virtually nothing. It’s happened probably a dozen times or more. Oh yes, I’ll later receive a profuse apology. And for a while things go smoothly. But then, one day - for virtually no reason - I’ll get a phone call. And I’ll be berated and excoriated until I hang up.

So maybe five years ago I decided to disengage. Because if I don’t - and keep getting abused - it’s my fault. It’s kind of like walking through a neighborhood where’s there’s a vicious dog that sometimes chases and bites those who pass by. A smart person stays out of that neighborhood.

Also, along the same vein, the Big Book describes insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I've decided that I won’t engage in that kind of insanity.