They go on and on like this. They can't wrap their brains around the idea that their once sweet baby has morphed into a sick addict.
And my response is always the same: Don't do anything. Let him (or her) figure it out on their own.
But a mother who learned how to protect herself expresses it well. I share here some of her thoughts:
"I told my son that I can't continue financially and emotionally to keep going through his cycles....this is his work as an adult and although I love him greatly, I can no longer live like this. So, I have learned to detach....and realized finally that I can't fix him. This is between him and God now.
Will I continue to be there and support him to the extent I can so long as he is remaining drug-free and trying to help himself? You bet. Will I sacrifice my own happiness with continual worry, frustration, anger, drama, and sadness any longer? No way.
Loving myself means knowing and honoring my own boundaries....and learning that he will need to honor his own. This model has helped me in so many ways...not just with my son....but in dealings with others too. So my son probably doesn't see it, but he has actually helped me to become a better person....stronger, more compassionate, less fearful, more understanding of our frailties ....and savoring the precious life that we have right in front of us....one moment at a time..."
If parents adopted this attitude they might live in freedom. And maybe they'd save their child's life by teaching them to be responsible.
