Many parents I talk to focus on themselves. They often suffer from guilt. From grief. Sometimes shock. Many are in serious distress.
The sweet child they brought home from the delivery room has morphed into an addict or alcoholic. Progressed from baby pictures to mug shots. And it seems like overnight.
And there's a lot of handwringing.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Maybe I shouldn't have gotten divorced."
"Maybe I was too strict."
"Maybe I was too permissive."
The monologue takes up all their headspace and they don't know what to do.
At this point how we raised our kids makes little difference. It's history. Maybe something the parent and a therapist can hash out.
The real issue is that there's an addict in your house. In essence, if you're supporting him or her, then your feeding their habit.
So what to do? Give an ultimatum. The ultimatum is to get into some kind of recovery program. Either treatment or a halfway house.
And put a time limit on it. Right now. Tomorrow. Three days. Whatever it is, stick with it or else you'll feel even worse.
Will my addict still love me for making them get clean? Probably not at first first. At first you'll be a bitch or a lot of mofos.
But my experience is that once an addict achieves recovery they have nothing but gratitude for those who helped them.
The real issue is that there's an addict in your house. In essence, if you're supporting him or her, then your feeding their habit.
So what to do? Give an ultimatum. The ultimatum is to get into some kind of recovery program. Either treatment or a halfway house.
And put a time limit on it. Right now. Tomorrow. Three days. Whatever it is, stick with it or else you'll feel even worse.
Will my addict still love me for making them get clean? Probably not at first first. At first you'll be a bitch or a lot of mofos.
But my experience is that once an addict achieves recovery they have nothing but gratitude for those who helped them.
