At a twelve-step meeting today the topic was "how I maintain my happiness in sobriety."
As different people shared on the topic, it became apparent that most of them realize that sobriety has its ups and downs. That it's unrealistic to think that we're always going to be happy. That just because we're in recovery things aren't going to always flow along smoothly.
If we enter a life of recovery with the idea that we're going to live happily ever after, we'll surely be disappointed. But if we step onto the path of recovery without any expectations of heaven on earth, we have a better chance of staying sober.
What a successful recovery program does is toughen us up so we can face the realities of life. The realities of life are that there are bills to pay, that our loved ones get sick, that we probably won't win the lottery, and that sometimes staying sober day by day can be a bitch.
And yes, there are moments when we can be deliriously happy because we have escaped the misery and insecurity of depending upon substances for our happiness. If we view life as a roller coaster of ups and downs, of setbacks and successes, then we're not surprised when good or bad things occur in our lives.
When we first got rid of the poisons that we thought would bring us happiness we had a new sense of freedom. A sense of freedom that was so powerful that the drugs we left behind paled by comparison. But eventually we become used to this new feeling and we have to learn to deal with the challenges that come up in life. And sometimes those challenges aren't so much fun, yet those events are what gives our life a rich texture and meaning.
So maybe we need to redefine our happiness. Instead of it always being a feel-good thing, maybe it's the realization that we can successfully navigate whatever life puts in front of us – and do it without putting form substances into our bodies.
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