Over the past couple hundred years the above saying has been attributed to several people, including a few well-known philosophers. But I was reminded of it a few days ago after a good friend – who was a top manager at TLC suddenly relapsed – taking us by surprise. Especially me.
I guess the saying came up because this was a guy who had everything. A great job. A lovely family. A great fitness program. A nice income and pretty much all the material things one could want. Everything to lose.
He had over 10 years of recovery and knew the twelve-step programs – as well as the TLC program – inside and out. He was a manager who worked well with others, and had many creative ideas that created income and benefits for TLC's mission. He had even reached the point where he was making personal real estate investments. From the outside, it looked like he had the perfect life.
In the second paragraph I said that he "suddenly relapsed." But that's rarely the case with any of us. My experience over the past 27 years of recovery is that none of us relapse because we had a bad day. We relapse because we've had a period of several bad days, or maybe bad weeks or even months. But when we have over 10 years of recovery, as did this man, it goes deeper than that.
In my opinion this man's life was out of balance. Maybe he was putting in too many hours. Perhaps he was having relationship difficulties. There was something that he wasn't dealing with, something large enough that allowed him to throw it all away, everything he'd worked for over the past several years.
Whatever happened, there's no excuse for us to put a needle in our arm or open a bottle of booze. Especially when we have many years of recovery and have been an example to so many others who were struggling to stay clean and sober.
I can't imagine what it's like for him to be huddled somewhere in a dark room, meth and alcohol coursing through his body, trying to figure out what happened. What brought him to this point.
Of course, what happened is not relevant now. What's important is that this man has a multitude of friends that he can reach out to. He knows where the resources are. And hopefully he can get back into the rooms and into a recovery program before it's too late.
I guess the saying came up because this was a guy who had everything. A great job. A lovely family. A great fitness program. A nice income and pretty much all the material things one could want. Everything to lose.
He had over 10 years of recovery and knew the twelve-step programs – as well as the TLC program – inside and out. He was a manager who worked well with others, and had many creative ideas that created income and benefits for TLC's mission. He had even reached the point where he was making personal real estate investments. From the outside, it looked like he had the perfect life.
In the second paragraph I said that he "suddenly relapsed." But that's rarely the case with any of us. My experience over the past 27 years of recovery is that none of us relapse because we had a bad day. We relapse because we've had a period of several bad days, or maybe bad weeks or even months. But when we have over 10 years of recovery, as did this man, it goes deeper than that.
In my opinion this man's life was out of balance. Maybe he was putting in too many hours. Perhaps he was having relationship difficulties. There was something that he wasn't dealing with, something large enough that allowed him to throw it all away, everything he'd worked for over the past several years.
Whatever happened, there's no excuse for us to put a needle in our arm or open a bottle of booze. Especially when we have many years of recovery and have been an example to so many others who were struggling to stay clean and sober.
I can't imagine what it's like for him to be huddled somewhere in a dark room, meth and alcohol coursing through his body, trying to figure out what happened. What brought him to this point.
Of course, what happened is not relevant now. What's important is that this man has a multitude of friends that he can reach out to. He knows where the resources are. And hopefully he can get back into the rooms and into a recovery program before it's too late.
