In a group yesterday I heard someone in recovery say that they were "a loner." They didn't like to depend on others. Their goal was to be by themselves.
But are we ever truly alone? Are we ever in a situation where we don't depend upon others? I don't think so.
After all, we depend upon others for our very existence. Do we hunt for our food today? Are we farmers who grow our own crops? What about our clothing? Do we make it ourselves? I don't think so.
Nearly everything comes to us through the efforts of others. Someone grows our food. Another person delivers it to a supermarket. Someone else builds our cars. The whole world around us is created by a widespread network of others who support our very existence. So the idea of us being self-sufficient stops pretty much at the edge of the sidewalk or somewhere near the city limits.
On an even more important level, our recovery from alcohol and drugs has everything to do with those around us who are also in recovery. I mean, if we could have gotten sober by ourselves, many of us would've done it. Instead, we were led into recovery by those who got clean and sober ahead of us. They supported us when we were ready to relapse. They took us to meetings. They helped us through our steps. They took the time to listen when we wondered if it was all worthwhile. There's nothing like the wisdom of those who have gone ahead of us to help us stay clean and sober.
So I don't believe that the idea of us being a loner – especially those of us in recovery – reflects our best thinking. To live a full life we need to embrace the rest of the human race, not because we necessarily like them, but because we need them.
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