Today I was at a meeting where a man received a chip for being sober for 44 years.
Now someone new to the twelve-step programs might not understand the significance of someone receiving a chip for being sober 44 years. They might ask a question like, why bother? After being sober a few years, why does anyone go to meetings, particularly after they've been sober for more than half of their life?
But the reality is that a lot more happens at 12 step meetings than just not drinking or using drugs.
What really happens at 12 step meetings is that once people get into recovery and start living in sobriety, they start refining their lives and begin learning how to rejoin the human race. Many of them, particularly younger people, have never really truly learned how to live. They mistreated their wives, their parents, and coworkers, and others living around them.
So that's why the twelve-step programs have twelve-steps. Each step is a progression toward learning how to live better, how to treat people, and how to become a decent human being. And for the many who have spent years immersed in a life of drinking and drugging, it takes a long time to change and learn how to live in peace and harmony with others.
The gentleman in question – the man who has been sober 44 years – happens to be my sponsor. I met him when I first got sober but he didn't become my sponsor until seven years later. Now many of the questions I ask him I already know the answers to – something he often reminds me of. But the good thing about having someone who's been in recovery longer than we have is that they have been through many of the experiences we are facing. And even though we might know the answer, they can confirm that we're on the right track.
I would recommend to anyone who doesn't have a sponsor to try to find someone they can relate to. They can become a friend who will guide us through the rough patches in our recovery.
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