Many addicts I know view themselves as victims. And as long as they look at themselves that way they'll never have a chance to get sober or have a normal life. And this is because everything in their world revolves around "what happened" to them. And how to find enough drugs to kill the pain.
Perhaps they were abused as a child, maybe raped, beaten, or emotionally abused.
And this is not to excuse or minimize what happened to them. This is written with the idea of helping them take a different look at themselves. To help them realize that they will be stuck on an eternal treadmill of angst, self-pity, substance abuse, gambling or sex addiction. Anything they can do to dull the pain of the self-constructed victim cage that they find themselves so comfortable in.
The reality is that we live in a world where terrible things often happen to people when they're young. And what happened to them is even more inexcusable because they were so young and defenseless. But in today's world there are many resources for people who want to grow beyond their childhood trauma. The thing is they need the courage to reach out and grasp the resources available.
My experience has been that many people use the bad things that happened to them as an excuse to wallow in their addiction and self-pity because it's the most comfortable place they know. Most people would rather live with a known misery than take a chance on an unknown joy.
And I know this because I was one of those people. I came from an abusive childhood where most everyone was drunk and angry – at least those who had any power over me. And I used that for many years as an excuse to destroy my life with drugs and alcohol. After years in jails and institutions I decided there had to be a better way and at 51 I decided to change my life.
I reached out and found the resources to get sober and the counseling that would help restore my sanity. My story illustrates that it's never too late to rewrite your life story – you just have to have the courage to do it.
