Out of Control

A friend in recovery was talking about how he felt his life was out of control.

My response was that of course it was.  Because when it comes right down to it, all of our lives are out of control, at least to some degree. Regardless of how much power we think we have.

For example, we go to college and get a degree and expect a great job when we graduate. But then it doesn't happen because the economy goes into a recession and nothing is available.

We have a crush on the woman in the next office, but she won't even look our way.

The path to happiness can be happy and smooth and level.  Or it can be rocky and steep and hard work every step of the way.  

The way to happiness is to realize that we have little or no control of anything outside our own skin.  Once we accept that and realize it we are a much happier human being.

Now in Alcoholics Anonymous there's the Serenity Prayer.  It asks us to learn to accept the things we cannot change and to have the wisdom to know the difference.  Many alcoholics might think that the saying came from the Big Book.  But the reality is it was the core of Stoicism, a philosophy practiced by the Stoics until the 3rd century in Rome and Greece.

Once we accept whatever comes our way we have defeated it.  That doesn't mean we got what we wanted, but we do have peace and maybe happiness because we no longer are disappointed because we didn't get our way.

This path of learning acceptance isn't necessarily easy, but it becomes a habit as we mature in life.

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