Last night I awakened with a start. I'd been in the midst of a pretty boring dream about being in my car in a parking lot, backing up. I recall making sure to look in my rear view mirrors to be certain the way was clear. And it was. At least I must have thought it was, because I kept backing. Then all of a sudden I smacked into the front of a car behind me and I awoke and sat up.
As I sat on the edge of my bed I began having a dialogue with myself about what a strange dream I'd had. And then I realized why had I'd had it.
On the 7th of this month, around 11 days ago, on a Monday, I was passing through an intersection less than a mile from my home with my daughter as a passenger. As I passed through the intersection another driver ran the red light and plowed into my driver's side door at 40-50 miles per hour.
The crash was explosive. All of our airbags deployed and I felt like I was being squeezed in a giant fist into a tiny ball. I remember thinking to myself that I was about to die.
Both my daughter and I were taken to the hospital. She was released after a few hours and I spent two nights because I had a broken sternum and related injuries. Both of us are still healing.
But, back to the dream. I knew that it must have occurred because of the accident, kind of like PTSD. So, I devised a plan to help me absorb and accept the memory of that event. What I'm going to do is take a route to work and home each day that requires me to pass that intersection. And every morning and afternoon I'll make a turn on that corner and see what memories come up, if any.
I've heard that exposure to bad memories can help us accept them until they have no more effect upon us when they do come up. Because we come to accept them and absorb them as the accidents they were.
In any case, I'm already a more cautious driver.
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