As we move along the road of recovery we adjust to new realities. Among these is that we now live in a new time dimension..
For example, when I was in my disease and seeking heroin and alcohol everything was an emergency. I needed a drink and I needed it now. My head might be throbbing from the night before but somehow the only answer was to pour more alcohol into me so I could achieve chemical homeostasis. And when I achieved that then I would have the courage to hurry up and steal something I could sell or trade for heroin before I became too dope-sick to function.
I was a rat on a treadmill. Running, always running, to get high. But somehow I never got to where I wanted to be: in that life-changing blessed euphoria of the first drink or the first fix.
Today in recovery I no longer live in a state of constant reaction to the pushy demands of my addiction. Today my life is lived with a degree of planning, of doing things on a schedule that I make.
Not one imposed upon me by my screaming hungry nerve endings. My time flows smoothly.
