Monday, June 3, 2019

In the Moment

It's difficult for us addicts and alcoholics to live in the moment. I know that so-called normal people deal with the same thing. But since TLC is in the business of helping addicts and alcoholics most of the messages in this blog are directed to them and their needs.

Clients and staff members show up in my office every so often with an issue they would like to discuss. And after they sit down, I ask them what's going on. And almost without exception, it involves something that's either in the past or the future.  It's never about this moment.

Now, of course, many of us have suffered bad experiences that led us to get into drugs and alcohol in the first place. And so it's understandable that many people would be suffering from PTSD or other trauma because of these experiences. And this kind of trauma can sometimes dominate our thinking. But if we recognize it for what it is then it loses its power over us.

Same with people who are thinking about the future. Now when someone is planning their future, like what kind of job are they going to do, or what school are they going to select, what kind of business are they going to start, then it's understandable that they would be looking at the future. But the people who sit across my desk are usually those who have fear about what the future will bring. And while a little bit of that is okay, when it starts to dominate us then it becomes a problem.

One of the favorite sayings I use with people who are in this state of mind is one attributed to Mark Twain: "I've been through many terrible experiences in my life – and some of them actually happened." Because most of the fears running wild in our brain are of our own making; they are simply fear-based fantasies.

While it might seem overly simplistic, one of the ways to stay emotionally balanced is to live in the moment. Because if we live in the moment, when things from the past or the future have us upset we can recognize where the thoughts are coming from. And when we're aware of where our thoughts come from all of a sudden they lose their power over us.

One of the ways to solve this problem of living in the moment is to learn mindfulness meditation or some other meditation of your choice. Because meditation helps us become a little more aware and a little more present each time we practice. And awareness will help us recognize that our thoughts are just thoughts and have only the power we give them.

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