Key to Happiness

I recently discovered an interesting article on the internet about a happiness study at Harvard University  that has endured since the 1920s.  

The original purpose was to have around 100 men participate in a lifelong study of what they found that made them happy and to report their findings to researchers.  All were elite students, many from wealthy families and enjoying the finer things of life.  In fact, one was John F. Kennedy, who later became president.  Many of the participants went on to become wealthy and famous.

When they were 60 and above, they reported about what made them happiest.  And the outcome was that the majority reported that the biggest factor that brought them happiness was the quality of their relationships.  All of their relationships were important to them.  Their wives and husbands.  Their family members.  Their business associates.

The discovery has been consistent throughout the study.

And the reason I write about this is that many of our clients express anxiety about their relationships.  Will their parents ever talk to them again?  Will their marriages fall  apart?  Will their children speak to them again?  Relationships of all kinds seem to be the number one concern. 

When I read this study I understood why this is such a large issue with clients.  I think that being part of a social group is in our DNA, one of the most necessary to our survival.  If we look at prehistoric times, if we weren't part of the tribe or were exiled for some breaking a rule it might be a death sentence because we need society to help us navigate through life.

The good news for us addicts is that once we get clean and sober our families and friends usually come back to us - at least that's been my observation over my 32 years of sobriety.  Once our loved ones see us rebuilding our lives they normally welcome us back.  I know mine have.

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