Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, a 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992 when he had a year sober. He's in his 27th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he sometimes disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Being Accountable

I've received a lot of questions this week about addict family members. Are they using? Are they clean? How to deal with them and so forth.

A mother wonders if her unemployed son is using or not. She's been giving him money until he starts working, but isn't sure how he's spending it. He quickly goes through whatever she gives him. He seems to always have an excuse about where the money goes.

She says she can't be sure if he's using unless she drug tests him. Which is apparently something she hasn't done.

My suggestion would be for her to drug test him to keep him accountable. After all, she's supporting him and paying his bills. The least he could do is lower her stress by going to a testing facility like TASC, then showing her the results. That way she'd know he's clean.

Also, I think that if she gives him money he needs to account for what he does with it by providing receipts. That also would lower her anxiety level.

Because she's supporting a grown addict she has every right to know what he's doing with the help she gives him.

Click here to email John