The aftercare group assignment was to finish the sentence, "you can tell I'm getting ready to relapse when I..."

A couple of clients in the group groaned when they heard the topic. They knew the structure of the sentence didn't give them much wiggle room. But it made for an interesting group.

The first client who shared gave the usual boilerplate answers. He said that he last relapsed when he quit going to meetings, started hanging out with negative people, and began focusing on things other than recovery. Another client mentioned that when he quit doing the things that he did when he first got sober he knew he was on the path to relapse.

An interesting aspect of the group was when three of the members mentioned that they didn't have a lot to share because they had never relapsed. It was their first time trying to get sober and the only thing they knew about relapse was what they'd heard in meetings or from their sponsors.

Later an older man, a chronic alcoholic who had relapsed many times, shared how he knew when he was ready to relapse. He said that before he relapsed he often looked around and that other situations looked better than the one he was in. He said that even though he was once married to a beautiful woman, he would find other women more beautiful. He said that when he was married he was envious of his unmarried children. He said that when he was divorced and living alone he was jealous of those who were married. He said he had a great job but that he was dissatisfied with it. And eventually that dissatisfaction ended in a fight with a co-worker and resulted in his termination. No matter where he was in life it seemed like he was never content. And this lack of contentment and acceptance led him back to alcohol over and over.

A client who also had relapsed many times suggested that this man get more involved in service work. He thought if the man did service work he'd spend less time comparing his situation with others. He pointed out that when we are never satisfied it might have something to do with a spiritual vacuum within us.

Another client suggested the man look around, not only at those who he perceived as having it better than him, but also at those who have less. He pointed out that we can always find someone to envy or a situation to covet. But on the other end of the spectrum we can see those who are suffering and have less than us.

Our job is to find balance and realize that in God's world we are exactly where we're supposed to be at the moment.