When the facilitator asked for a topic at last night's aftercare group a member selected "frustration." He was asked to lead off and he did.

He started describing problems he was having with an 18-year-old daughter who'd been living with his ex-wife in another state. It seems the girl had left her mother's home and moved in with a boyfriend. On top of that, the group member believed she was smoking marijuana and drinking. There were other issues involved, including his suspicion the girl was possibly being abused by the boyfriend. All of this had come to him through phone calls. When he finished, the group chimed in.

“Have you thought about acceptance?” one man asked. “Anyway, there's not much you can do about this from 2000 miles away.”

“Your daughter's an adult,” said another. “You have no power over where she goes or what she does.”

Several others contributed their thoughts as the group went on. One of the best ideas, I thought, was when one member suggested he give his daughter no advice unless she asked. He suggested that he simply listen to her and let her know that he loved her.

When the others had their turn to share the consensus seemed to be that being frustrated had a lot to do with wanting the unobtainable. And the solution always came to acceptance.