Probably one of the most heart-wrenching aspects of my job is when I talk to parents who are concerned about their children. Sometimes their children come from far away to enter our program. The parents are often concerned about their safety. They wonder if they'll get the help they need. If only the children could hear the pain and emotion in their parents voices, it might be a strong motivating factor in helping them to get sober.

Usually the message comes via e-mail, so I respond with a brief message and my phone number. I encourage them to call if they have further concerns. Sometimes they write and sometimes they call. I do what I can to help them feel better.

It 's easy for me to relate to these parents. I have children and grandchildren who are having problems. At one time I thought - because I'm in the recovery field - my children would find me to be a good example to help them stay clean and sober. It hasn't worked that way. One is addicted to pills. Another has a problem with alcohol. Still another smokes a lot of marijuana.

So when I talk to those who are concerned about children or other family members I have a deep well of experience to draw from. I use this to try to comfort them and give them some perspective. Virtually all the calls I get are from those with little experience with alcoholism or drug addiction. I seldom get emotional calls from parents who are also in recovery themselves or who are members of Al-Anon. So one of the things I generally tell parents who have little experience with addictions is that they should investigate Al-Anon.

Al-Anon is an organization that helps those who have an addict or alcoholic in their life.