The other day a woman was telling me about her health problems. She was overweight and she had heart problems that had been with her since childhood. While we were having this discussion she was lighting a cigarette.

She must have seen a look on my face because she told me "I know, I need to quit these things."

I learned a long time ago to not engage in health discussions. What others do or don't do with their lives is not my business. If people come to me and want to discuss sobriety or addiction I'm happy to do that. But beyond that I have learned that it is frustrating to expect people to change. I didn't always have this attitude. When I quit smoking some 27 years ago I was almost evangelistic in my fervor to help others quit. Today I don't engage with others about smoking. If they ask me how I quit I tell them. As long as they don't smoke around me I'm okay with them pursuing their addiction. Oh yes, I would prefer that nobody smoked but I realize that there are lot more productive battles to fight.

It's the same way for me when people talk about losing weight. For some reason, probably because I don't have a weight problem, people like to engage in conversations about losing weight. A few of them have been memorable. Last year three of my family members were talking about losing weight while we were on vacation. They were having this discussion while slicing a cheesecake. Another close relative likes to talk to me about losing weight, and it is usually over a large plate of pork chops or steak. When we get into serious discussions about health and weight loss he reverts to telling me about how intensely he worked out 25 years ago. When I attempt to steer the conversation to what he can do today about his weight he changes the subject.

Many times those of us in recovery switch addictions. We become addicted to food. Or become addicted to sex. Or maybe we start smoking more. Our obsessive behavior may play out on a different stage.

For me the discussion is always about the quality of life. I didn't get clean and sober just to start another negative addiction.