The Pain of Change

One of our tougher jobs at TLC is convincing families to back off and let loved ones recover from their disease.

I believe we mostly look at the world through our own glasses – especially when we're dealing with family members who have alcohol and drug problems. It’s difficult to see those we care for go through changes when they stop using and start becoming responsible.

But when I explain to parents or siblings that they need to let their loved ones stand on their own it sometimes requires a total change of thinking on their part.

We discourage those who want to give their kids televisions, computers, and other gadgets totally unnecessary to their recovery. We don’t even want families to pay service fees beyond the first week or two.

Addicts discover gratitude and responsibility by paying their own way and learning to be responsible. It's sometimes difficult to explain to parents that we're not mean because we expect clients to be at day labor at four in the morning so they have the best chance of landing a temporary job.

I recall a mother who took her 30 year old son from the program because he didn’t like the food. She thought he needed to be home where she could feed and take care of him. Two weeks later he died of a cocaine overdose.

Learning to live sober can be uncomfortable and even painful. But the rewards are ongoing.