Carrying the Message?

All kinds show up at 12 step meetings – just like in the rest of the world.

Some say stupid things. But most of those are newcomers who don't know how to behave when they first get into the rooms. They still don’t realize they haven't much to offer about staying sober.

Then there are those who've been around for years.  And for some reason they still haven't learned how to behave either. Again, just like the real world.

For example, yesterday a fellow showed up who's been sober – according to him – for a couple of decades plus.  He projects a larger-than-life persona. He’s bombastic and self-aggrandizing. And whenever he comes into the rooms he's the center of attention because he's so loud.  Some interpret his loudness as anger.

Indeed, at the meeting yesterday, after this person shared, a newcomer asked if he was "angry," because he was speaking so loudly. And the fellow said "no," that he was just "passionate."

Whatever the case, I believe that those of us who've been sober for a while must be an example for newcomers. We might conduct ourselves so that others want what we have to offer.  Mr. Legend may be well-intentioned and believe he is carrying the message. However, he does it in a manner that draws negative attention.

Had I met him when I first got sober I would've thought maybe these 12 step meetings are not for me. However, I was fortunate. I was able to meet business people and others who carried themselves with a quiet self-confidence – and who showed gratitude for what they had gotten in the rooms. They never tried to draw unnecessary attention to themselves and they carried the message in an articulate and intelligent manner – in a way that made me want what they had to offer.

While I may sound judgmental, I don't believe I should use 12 step meetings as the palette to work out my frustration or to enhance my ego.