After sweating through the 2 1/2
hour exam he said he agonized both Saturday and Sunday over what the results
might be. He was sure he’d flunked, that he might be dropped from the course.
But to his surprise and gratification
he found learned he’d earned a B on the test – that he hadn't come near
failing.
Because of his history as a long-term
drug user who spent years in prison he sometimes faces challenges with self-esteem.
On one hand he knows he's bright. But on
the other, his addictions have prevented him from realizing his potential.
As
regards his self-esteem he’s like many of us in recovery. When we first get
sober we enter a new culture, a new territory of unfamiliar values and mores.
Almost like immigrants from another country we try to assimilate into this new
culture, sometimes without the tools we need. Many of us addicts were middle-aged when we got sober. So not only are we trying to figure out a new way of
life, we are also competing with many others our age who spent their whole lives working hard and trying to get ahead.
And then
there’s that small insistent voice somewhere inside us that says “I don’t
deserve this success after what I've done to myself.”
Our
job at TLC is to help clients to ignore this voice and recognize they can enjoy
success if they’re willing to pursue it.
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