The other day a client was overheard telling his mother on the phone that she shouldn't be purchasing a certain luxury item, that the money she was about to spend was part of his “inheritance.”
When I questioned him I realized he believed that the money his mother and father had accumulated was his - money that he was going to inherit some day.
Therefore he wanted them to be frugal and not waste it on luxury items. And, also, to make sure they sent him enough money to meet his expenses in the meantime.
When I suggested this attitude was rude and extremely disrespectful to his parents he looked at me as if I had just landed from another planet.
This isn't the first time I've encountered a scenario where addicts actually believe that what their parents have belongs to the addict.
So, one may ask, what business does a therapist have getting involved in these family affairs? And my answer is that a client’s attitude has everything to do with recovery.
If we approach the world with a sense of entitlement – as many clients’ do – we’re not going to be responsible for taking care of ourselves.
And recovery is all about personal responsibility in every way. We are responsible for paying our own way. For our emotional and physical health. For our relationships.
In 22 years’ of working in recovery I can’t recall anyone with a strong sense of entitlement who stayed sober.
No comments:
Post a Comment