Backsliding

A client who stayed out overnight without permission was counseled about being on the track to relapse.  He claimed he had spent the night with a woman and that's why he didn't return home until 8 o'clock in the morning.   He didn't think it was a big deal.

But his manager, who was also in the counseling session, said there was more to it than staying out overnight. It seems he's also been slacking on his chores around the property.  Even though our client is in aftercare he still has responsibilities to the house, an obligation to help keep the place clean and orderly.  And he hasn't been doing these chores at all.  Plus, his attitude sucks.

So a normal person might ask what business is it of ours if he spends the night with a woman?  After all, isn't sex a normal biological urge?  True.  It is.  However, the woman he reportedly was with is an alcoholic and self-described "sex addict."  Not the best companion for someone in recovery.

But this all goes to a larger issue.  When we addicts stop keeping our commitments to ourselves or others then we're in danger of backsliding toward using drugs or alcohol.  First we break little commitments.  Then we break bigger ones.  And one day we'll be smoking marijuana.  Or shooting heroin.  Maybe drunk on our butt. I've rarely seen anyone with a few months of recovery just walk out and say "hey, I'm going to go get high."   Relapse starts incrementally.

And it usually starts with us breaking our commitments to ourselves and to others.

Comments?  schwary@msn.com