In the 12-step literature we find the phrase “we ceased fighting anyone or anything…”
This is a wonderful declaration. But how do we put it into practice? And what’s the point, anyway?
Because, damn, once in while we’re so frustrated we feel like saying whatever’s on our mind. Sometimes it seems like a great idea to put a foot in someone’s ass.
The way we put this into practice - and believe me it becomes easier with time - is to make a commitment to not fight with anyone about anything – as this simple phrase says. That means when others disagree or are rude, we respond with calm. We try to find out how we can help clarify the situation before it turns into something larger.
After all, when people are rude or short with us, chances are they’re going through something difficult of which we might not be aware.
The point of not fighting might not be obvious to everyone. But many of my justifications for trashing my life with alcohol and heroin had to do with me fighting with someone or something- either imaginary or real. Things so important that today I can barely recall them.
The Founding Fathers, in the their infinite wisdom about the nature of alcoholics, likely put this mandate in the book because they knew how anger and fighting can easily trigger another binge.
