In dealing with recovering addicts for 25 years I've learned a few lessons.
And perhaps the most important is about living in the moment.
When clients show up in my office and they're unhappy it's rarely about this moment. It's usually about the past. Or something that hasn't occurred yet. Something over the horizon.
The depressed are usually in the past. They're excavating into a pile of old memories. They'll dredge up something especially depressing and wonder why they're gloomy or sad.
The anxious ones are generally skipping off into the future. Where am I going to find work? Will my family accept me when I return? Will I be able to get back in school?
There's no way I'm trying to minimize what our depressed clients have been through.
Many of them suffered trauma. Some lost siblings to drug overdoses. Some lost a wife or family member. Others harbor guilt about what they've done to others. Our pasts can be ugly.
And those who are off in the future and in a big hurry to move on have a fantasy that tomorrow will be better than right now. But who knows about the future? It might be worse.
My prescription for all of them is to learn to be in the present. Because the present is what we can really deal with.
Plus we might find joy that we hadn't experienced before.
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