He's unhappy because - after years of driving a big rig cross country -he can no longer work. His job is his whole world. He doesn't know what he'll do if he can no longer drive.
It seems that he wasn't on time for a scheduled drug test. And the way the Department of Transportation works, not showing up is the same as refusing to test.
Before he can return to work he has to go through testing and counseling to see if he has a substance abuse issue.
And even though the chances are good that he'll eventually drive again, to him life seems bleak. All he can look at is what he's lost.
Before we start the testing process I ask him to look at the bigger picture. What was his role in not showing up? Where does his responsibility lie in the issues he's facing? How many others have failed tests and eventually returned to work?
Too often when we face challenges in life we focus on our problems and not the solution. Like this man, we can't see beyond our losses. We just feel sorry for ourselves.
His demeanor improves when I suggest he drop his anger and self-judgement.
Then I ask him to look at the real world. There are many men his age who can't work. Maybe they're handicapped. Maybe they don't have the training or the skills. Maybe they don't have his ambition. Perhaps he should count his blessings - even with his temporary setback.
When we focus on the right things we can get past most any challenges that life hands us.
