Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Teaching the Kids

During a business phone call last week a man asked what TLC is about.

When I told him we're a recovery program he talked about his two step kids, one 19, the other 20.

Neither works. They smoke pot. One's been in trouble for using meth. They live on his couch, watching TV and playing video games every day.

They don't clean, cook, or do laundry. They contribute nothing. They just hang out.

On his way home from work they’ll call and ask him to bring fast food. That really irks him.

I suggested that he send them to TLC. That way they could learn responsibility. He kind of hesitated when I brought that up. And I made a few other suggestions that didn't seem well-received.

Finally I changed the subject because I realized the kids weren't the problem.

Something I learned long ago is that parents teach children how to behave. If we ask them to be responsible, they will. If we let them be slackers, they will . If we don't guide them they take the path of least resistance.

I offered the father my phone number, but I don't think he wrote it down.

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