Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

A Parent's Pain

I sometimes hear clients say they're only hurting themselves with their addictions. I've used some email excerpts from the parent of a halfway house client that shows how untrue that is.

"How many ways can you say no, I'm not sending money, you can't come live here, kindly ? It's always a painful conversation. My last one with him was about a month ago.

I told him to stop calling if all he wanted was money & I asked him to please surrender to the process that people such as yourself have gone through. This has been going on for years.

I hoped he would have stayed at your place but I believe he left the Roosevelt house the day after Superbowl Sunday.

I've tried everything in every form - from kindness to the toughest love tactics. Today I don't know if he is homeless, in one of your houses or jail. Or worse dead. He's my only child but I've accepted for the moment any way that God's got him & I have to accept that.

I wish kindness was possible, but unlike cancer or diabetes a lot of addicts don't take the help offered & instead they leave a trail of pain & sorrow as they take everyone down with them. Only they have a way of escaping the pain some of the time.

Kindness, love, conversations, would be a dream I strive to share with him someday."

Maybe someday this woman's son will realize how his addiction devastates those who care about him.