Acceptance is a big deal in recovery. We talk about it in group sessions. We talk about it during individual counseling. We talk about in 12-step meetings.
In my mind it's one of the most important concepts in recovery literature. Yet, it also seems to be one of the harder ones to master. And even though we know acceptance is good for us we all spend time wresting with it in our heads. At least once in a while.
But what does acceptance mean? I've been taught that it means that whatever comes along my path is just the way it's supposed to be. Just the way our Higher Power planned it. Yet sometimes I get puzzled.
Because yesterday I was talking with a halfway house resident who had serious health issues. Heart and other problems. So, my first question to him - as it is to all our clients - was "do you smoke?"
And when he said yes, I wasn't shocked. But I also wasn't into acceptance of the way he treats himself. It's hard for me to accept that we spend endless hours helping addicts to rebuild their lives when they're almost blase about the idea that they could do something to improve their health.
So my question is this: do I just accept the fact that in spite of our best efforts this person is doing little to enhance his life and health?
True, he's quit drinking and drugging, which is admirable. But what kind of life are we staying sober for if we pollute our bodies with nicotine and junk food? And suffer poor health?
I guess acceptance sometimes means accepting what we really know is unacceptable. And that's because there are some things we're powerless to change.
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