The Fragrance of Forgiveness...

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Many of us in recovery have trouble forgiving those who’ve harmed us. We often hold resentments and anger that might give us another reason to relapse. Forgiveness is often one of the more difficult acts for us to perform – yet it has so much power.  I quote an example of forgiveness I read of last week.

In 1999 Rebecca DeMauro’s 12-year-old daughter, Andria, was murdered in Arkansas. When by chance she watched the trial of the Green River Killer on TV her feelings of loathing and vengeance shifted.

 “I watched with great interest as the victims’ families were each allotted ten minutes to give a victim impact statement,” she said.

Ridgway, convicted of murdering 48 women, sat stoic and hard, his eyes narrowed, seemingly full of hate during the proceedings.

“It wasn’t until Bob Rule, father of 16-year-old Linda Rule, stood and faced the killer that something inside of me and Gary Ridgway broke. Bob Rule looked straight at the Green River killer and said:

‘Mr. Ridgway, there are people here who hate you. I’m not one of them. I forgive you for what you’ve done. You’ve made it difficult to live up to what I believe, and that is what God says to do, and that is forgive, and he doesn’t say to forgive just certain people, he says forgive all. So you are forgiven.’

“Ridgway’s face softened and his lips began to tremble. Then he began to cry. At that precise moment, I realized that the only way I would be able to go on living was to stop hating. I had to do what Bob Rule had done and let it go, and let Andi rest in peace.”

This powerful account of forgiveness is an example for those of us who have difficulty forgiving the real - or perceived- transgressions of others. 

Forgiveness can set us free of anger and hatred that can serve no purpose but to bring us down - and maybe lead us to relapse..

For more examples of forgiveness go to http://theforgivenessproject.com