"Half measures availed us nothing." from the Big Book.
When I was out there over 25 years ago shooting heroin - and drinking everything in sight - I didn't do it halfway. It was only when I was in the slammer that I was able to slow down or stop.
I was so powerless that once I started I couldn't stop on my own. I didn't even pretend to try.
This comes up for me because it seems like lately we've had many clients and residents who can't make up their minds. Do I want to get sober and clean? Or do I want to get high?
We have applicants who tell us they want to change. That life on the streets is kicking their asses. So we let them in and a week later they fail a urinalysis or a breathalyzer test. And we end up discharging them.
I have no problem with people relapsing. The literature tells us that it's a way to find out if we really have a problem. But I'd think that after five or six relapses one could figure out that something's not working.
And maybe they have a higher tolerance for pain than I did. Because once I got through with detoxing and started to get my life back together I never looked back.
Even though I had fun at first, there's nothing about that life that's attractive to me today.
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