I speak only for myself when I say that one of the greatest single words in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is acceptance.
It appears a few times in the book. And once I let the word sink in it changed my whole outlook on my drinking and drug use.
I first really paid attention to it at a speaker meeting. The man at the podium was describing his misadventures with booze. He said that one day his sponsor told him that he would never succeed at staying sober until he got into acceptance. Until he accepted that he was incapable putting any addictive substances into his body he didn't have a chance of living like other people.
He said that it took a while for the concept of acceptance to take hold. He said that for a long time he knew he was as alcoholic but that he had some idea that he wasn't really that bad. That he could stop whenever he wanted to quit. But while reflecting, he realized that since he was a teenager he was always having problems with alcohol and other substances.
And when family or friends would suggest that he slow down and use in moderation he would tell them that he was just having a good time with his friends.
Yet his partying and using seemed to always get out of hand and before he knew it he was in trouble. Yes, he could quit for a few days. But sooner or later he would find himself in jail, or a hospital because he couldn't control himself.
Until his sponsor had him make a list of times he successfully drank without eventually getting into a mess, he wasn't fully convinced that he was powerless over drinking alcohol and using other substances.
Once he looked over that list his sponsor had him write he realized that examining his history with drinking and drugs is what made him realize he had a problem. He said acceptance of who and what he was is what set him free.
To stay sober for the past 30 years I first had to accept that I had a disease called alcoholism. Once I did that things kept getting better and better. And I'm able to enjoy the life I have today.
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