Is there a surefire and effective way to help someone get sober, to start living a life of recovery? Yes, if one has the right ingredients almost anyone can quit using and start living a sober life.
After working with addicts for thirty+ years I believe there are several factors that potentially come into play when someone is serious about a major life change like getting sober.
I remember a time about ten years ago when a fellow parked in front of our office and came in to ask for help in getting sober.
He was well dressed, wearing a watch, driving a decent automobile, and had a woman who waited in the car while he was in our office.
We asked him if that was his car and why he thought he needed help. Why he thought he was an alcoholic and needed help to stop drinking? He started telling us his story about how sometimes he would have too much to drink and wake up with a hangover. Or get into a fight with his wife. He was afraid he might lose everything, including his wife and home. He'd never had a DUI nor been in jail.
To sum it up, we told him he might look for someplace else. Maybe get some outpatient treatment. We told him that most of those who came to our program had been homeless, in jail and had suffered a lot of pain before they decided to change. We suggested that he suffer a little more before he tried to get sober; that he still had a decent life and might stop drinking for a few days and decide that he might not have a problem after all. We told him we didn't think he'd suffered enough consequences.
And so he went on his way and we never saw him again.
The point of this narrative is that we must suffer enough pain to want to change. While he had gone through some discomfort from drinking our opinion was that he hadn't reached a bottom where he would be motivated to work on some gut level recovery. He still had too many resources to be on fire to change.
While TLC accepts anyone who asks for help we like to think that they've had enough pain and loss to want to change. While we'll help anybody we like to use our resources for those who have a strong motivation. Life will eventually let this guy find out if he has a problem, maybe if he starts feeling some real pain.
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