Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Loving Parents

Sometimes in this blog I gently beat up on doting parents who enable their children by providing support that isn’t helping them get clean and sober.

 While I’m not changing my attitude about enabler parents I must acknowledge that – even though they may be misguided – they almost always come from a place of caring and love.

And sometimes when I talk to these parents or write about what they’re all going through I emphasize the tough love part and perhaps don’t acknowledge how much they care.

Over the past 20 years I’ve talked to parents who have literally spent their retirement money trying to save their children from themselves – almost always without success.

The message I give them is that the sooner they quit supporting the addiction, the quicker their loved one will seek help.

But usually- misguided love gets in the way and sobriety doesn’t happen until a few more years down a bumpy road.