War Stories

A friend who's been sober for years called to tell me how bad he felt because he'd engaged in swapping war stories with a new acquaintance.

After they talked for a few minutes it turned out they'd known many of the same people back in the day. They'd been in the same prisons, though at different times. They were familiar with the same drug areas, the same players. For twenty minutes or so it was about the people they knew from those days and some of the adventures they'd engaged in.

Several hours later the friend called to say how bad he felt. He's been in recovery a long time and doesn't feel these kinds of conversations are productive. Or that they enhance his recovery. Yet every once in a while, almost unwittingly, he lapses into these kind of discussions. And he never leaves them feeling good about himself.

It's easy to relate. In recovery we live our lives a day at a time. We no longer reflect on the dubious accomplishments of our past. Nor do we spend a lot of time fantasizing about the future. We stay firmly grounded in the present, because that's what we have to deal with.

In my own case, I try not to get into discussions about the past in any way that might glorify those days. I quit doing that when I discovered that after this kind of conversations I felt like I needed a shower. I think I quit having these conversations when I realized I really did a lot of stupid things before I got sober, things I wasn't proud of..

Today I want to spend my time on the positive and uplifting.