Where I Want To Be

I was home from vacation for a day and someone asked the usual question.

“Do you wish you were still at the beach in San Diego?”

“Not really,” I replied. “I’m where I want to be right now.”

And a beautiful thing about life today is I’m exactly where I want to be at any given moment. Because if I’m not - why not? Today, because I’m sober, I find myself in exactly the space and circumstances I want.

Twenty plus years ago I was never in a great space. I was either on a mission to obtain more alcohol or drugs, in jail, or trying to escape some mess I was in. Even though I put myself in those situations I couldn’t stay sober long enough to get out - until I finally went to a detox.

Does that mean I didn’t enjoy the two weeks in California? Of course not. I had a glorious time hanging out with my sweetheart, my children and grandchildren. But I also enjoy my business life and work I do with addicts and alcoholics. And too much time relaxing is like overindulgence in anything: it can be cloying.

While writing this I was trying to remember a recent situation I didn’t want to be in. And I recalled a legal deposition I was required to witness as a corporate representative. I spent four hours trying to stay awake during boring cross examinations. And even though I didn’t want to be there I benefited by realizing that I was grateful for the life I have – that I don’t have a job so sedentary that I can’t get up and move around when I want.

A blessing of being sober is to be in places we want to be, to make the choices to be there.