Monday, September 17, 2012

Hurting Loved Ones


An addict in group a few days ago said, “I never hurt anyone but myself.”

His words came to mind last week when a father told me his addict daughter, who’d been in recovery for around six months, hadn’t showed up to an important family gathering.

                “I hope she’s okay,” he told me. But the tone of his voice and the pain in eyes said  he feared that she’d relapsed again.

While I don’t know the daughter - and only know the father because we’re at the gym about the same time each morning – I’ve been able to follow her odyssey though his eyes for the past three years.  And it hasn’t been pleasant to witness.

The daughter started using meth over 12 years ago. And the father and mother have been raising her daughter.  During the three years I’ve known him she’s been in and out of recovery. And each time she attempts to get clean I sense his renewed hope. Then I see his pain and frustration when she goes back out again.

If we addicts could see the pain on the faces of our loved ones, we might have more resolve when it comes to recovery.

It years for me to fully realize the emotional turmoil I created in the lives of those around me when I was in my addictions.

Besides myself, I hurt others over and over – pain I can never erase with a simple apology.

4 comments:

  1. So true John. I for one may not have "that kind" of family. But I believe I am on this earth to upbuild and uplift people. I am here to be of service and to be a good friend to others. How can I do any of these things if I use. I can't which means I am effecting a whole lot of peoples lives. So for me, my job sober is not to enrich my life but those around me. Which is better than being an empty soul.

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    1. Thank you Sally. It's always good to hear your comments. I know they come from the heart.

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