We are Self-Image

A long-term client in aftercare group paints himself as a “bad guy.”

When questioned he says he just “wants to let people know who he really is.” He spent many years’ homeless, doing drugs, and hurting those around him. He no longer wants to delude people or misrepresent himself.  He wants to be “honest.”

More than once he’s been confronted about this negative self-image.  A counselor asked if he’s still engaging in bad behavior, the kind of things that make him feel like this “bad guy.” He says he’s not.

And eventually he’ll admit that he’s going work, attending meetings, working with a sponsor, and contributing to the community – all positive things.

Like many addicts his story about who he is now is based on past behavior. While it’s probably appropriate to recognize our misdeeds, if we use them to define who we are today we’ll not make progress.

If I think I’m kind I’ll do nice things for people. If I think I’m smart, I’ll try to make intelligent decisions. But if I think I’m a loser and use an ugly past as a foundation for who I am now, then I risk reliving that history.

It’s hard to escape our self-image.