No Agenda

                 "What do you want me to say?" a client asked me in group.

                "I don't want you to say anything. I have no agenda," I replied.

I explain that it made no difference to me if he participated in group. More important was that he attend, and not be disruptive.

Many times over the last 20 years I've had clients in group who sit and say little - or nothing. Then later, they start changing. Because they're not talking in group, nor overtly participating, doesn't mean they're not hearing something of value.

We once had a client who spent two nine month stints in aftercare. The first time he said little, sitting with his arms crossed and kind of looking at the floor. Then one day he announced that he probably wouldn't be back the following week – that he was going to go drink. And that’s what he did.

Months later the man returned. And after six months he was back in aftercare. He started participating. He not only started participating, he also sought counseling at a community center. He started taking antidepressant medication prescribed for him at the center.

And what was interesting is that the man underwent a radical change. Although he graduated from our aftercare group a long time ago, he’s still in our long-term program and doing well.

So when we have someone who doesn't want to participate I tell them they don't have to. My only hope is that while they're sitting there they mght hear something that will change their life.

It's happened more than once here at TLC.