The last one was from a woman on the East Coast.
Her sister was with us for a few days then left for some reason.
But the woman was angry. She thought it unfair that her sister had to pay to be with us. She said she was told her sister could be with us for 30 days before she had to pay anything.
And while that may be what she thought she heard that's not the way TLC operates.
Part of her angry diatribe included an attack on our staff, who were a "bunch of thieves."
Also, she was complaining about the sanitation, the food, and the fact that we were "living off of the downtrodden."
I used to get angry when I got emails like these. But as time went on I realized that there was a lot of emotion behind messages like these.
These family members are in so much pain and anger that it muddles their thinking. They get the idea that if conditions were perfect their loved one might get clean and sober.
Eventually they'll come to realize that recovery is not about external conditions. It's not about the perfect rehab. It's not about the living conditions. It makes no difference if the rehab is on a beautiful beach in Santa Monica.
What matters is if the addict has had enough pain to make them want to change.
It's hard to make families understand that the responsibility for change lies on the addict.
They finally figure it out when they're tired of their loved one living on their couch making excuses.
