What does the family do when grown children leave everything behind to pursue their addiction? Or when they go away for recovery - not to return for some time?
What about when they leave behind young children? How does one explain why daddy or mommy hasn't come home after a long absence?
This is a difficult question. And yesterday I heard from a family member who's caring for a young grandchild whose father's an addict.
And I know of no template about the right way to deal with this issue. But in my 24 years working with addicts I've seen it handled in many ways.
Some parents don't tell a young child - like a two or three year old - much of anything. They just say daddy's away and will be back in a while.
If a child's four to six, the story might be that dad's dealing with a medical issue, or working in another state.
But when children are older, family usually starts explaining why the parent's gone. That the reason they're not home is that they're away working on recovery.
Children are smart. And the reality is that older kids know when something's not right. They might have overheard hushed conversations. They likely remember arguments or have seen the drama that surrounds an addict's life.
Most parents I know are upfront with them and it usually works out okay.
As an example, many of those in our program have dependent children who know where they're at. Children often come to TLC during vacations or school breaks to stay with their parents.
And most of them are proud their parents are doing something different.
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