Sunday, August 23, 2015

Talk about Loss

Last week I spoke with two mothers who had lost children to heroin overdoses. In fact, one of them had lost two children.

And there's nothing that makes me feel more helpless than when I listen to parents who've had this kind of pain.

What do we say to someone whose children have been torn from them by an overdose of poison?

Of course I learned years back to not say something dumb like "I know how you feel." Because if we haven't experienced the same loss we haven't much to say. Maybe just that we'll be there for them.

I sometimes wish I could record these conversations to play for some of the addicts in our program.

Because once in a while one of them in group will say "I only hurt myself when I was using. I never bothered anyone else."

And of course that's utter nonsense. That's the ultimate in egocentric thinking. Because when I was using those who cared for me suffered a lot.

I wasn't present for anything important and I didn't contribute to my family or children.

Yet there are some who'll maintain they hurt no one because they have no family. But the reality is that if we live on this planet we have an obligation to be a contributor, to do our share, to help others.

None of us live in a vacuum. We're all part of the human race and we have a moral obligation, at the very least, to do no harm.