Over the past few months sober clients have shared about recent visits home.
Some went to visit a sick relative. Others had a death in the family. A few went to catch up with relatives they haven't seen in years.
For many it had been a long time since they left home.
Though they had different experiences when they visited they seemed to come back with one resolution. And that was that they no longer wanted to return to where they grew up. That something had shifted within them.
For some it was the realization that they'd built a new life here in Arizona. They'd found a surrogate family in the recovery community. And after they were gone a few days they started to miss those connections.
Others had run into old friends who were still using or drinking. People who hadn't changed in years and who might never change. They realized there was nothing there for them but depressing memories.
Their reaction illustrates what I've seen over the years. That when we get clean and sober our values change. We no longer want to live in places where we're reminded of wreckage and trauma.
Plus, in some subtle way we have become new creations. Different people with new values, dreams, and hopes. And for many of us it’s nice to live in the environment where we learned them.
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